the line between the tides

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full moon in capricorn, june, 2018

Apologies for the gap in posts.  My work is changing in some way that is as yet mysterious, so my rhythm with writing has been unpredictable.  

We must know how to stand.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.

We must know how to feel.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.

We walk the line between the tides.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.

Our work is here, in the home that holds us.  It matters that our hearts break, it matters that they heal.  We can hold ourselves and each other through all the waves we feel, through the truth of our pain and love.  

Our work is here, in the home that holds us.  It matters that we are human, that we own it, that we work it, claim it, take responsibility for it.  It matters that we are as small, as numerous, as powerful as we are.  It matters that our humanity is inescapable, for it is the bounds within which we create.

Cancer, Capricorn, Sun, Moon, Saturn.  They push us with different questions, meant to be taken together, meant to be answered as a chorus.  How do you love, what do you tend?  What are you working towards, what reality do you build?  How do you know yourself through these things, and how will you come home?  

Through all of it, the Descendants.  Through all of it, the Ancestors.  We walk the line between the tides.  We are the tides.

The full Moon is conjunct Saturn, and tightly opposing the Sun.  Saturn asks us to be in integrity, to be in reality, to account for consequences.  For all of those things, we need to sing our answers to the chorus.  Integrity is woven of our ability to know ourselves, to take action, to love.  It is made of taking our place in the world, home beloved home, ready to work for it, ready to feel for it.  Walking in reality requires we do our healing, understand the relationships between what we feel and what we do, how we heal and what we can offer.  It requires emotional intelligence to be in grace stepping both forward and back according to our collective need.  It requires that we can look honestly at the consequences of our actions even as we feel the full throes of the interweaving of our personal needs, old traumas and fears, and what we hope to give.  

Cancer has a special gift for the deep psyche, working things out through the personal myths and epics that move through our brains in the small of the night, the stories woven of acknowledged and hidden motivations.  We are all heroes, victims, monsters, or innocent bystanders in these currents.  We all have favorite roles in which to cast ourselves.  We all like to fancy that this is incredibly private, but this moon is relentlessly illuminating.  Reality is, those narratives shape our behaviors, especially if unexamined.  Our behaviors are visible.  Our personal mythologies have consequences, and Capricorn wants to look at them, wants to understand the systems they build.  And if our personal narratives have such sway, what about our collective narratives?  The systems we build out of the behaviors that come from how we have cast ourselves, or been cast?  And what about the inheritance we have received, the mythologies under which generations have struggled?  And what about the inheritance we are preparing for those who come after us?

We can begin our offering to the descendants by dealing with the active mythologies, the ones that shape the behaviors that make it so that we can't know ourselves, can't hear others, can't/don't/won't stand in integrity, that encourage us to eschew reality, disavow power in alignment, pretend we are not at home here and therefore refuse to tend what is needed.  Here.  

We can begin our offering to the descendants by working the magic of belonging here, weaving currents in our psyches that sing the song of connection, of responsibility and nurturance, our lives as threads in a continuous web.  We can hold those as prayers and feelings, and we make them powerful and real when they inform our actions, when they are the pulse of life through what we do and how we do it, when we let service to that love be how we know ourselves, how we grow ourselves, no matter in to which discomforts it takes us.  

Mars turning retrograde heralded the Full Moon.  It adds its force to the chorus.  It highlights how we act out our fears, our survival stories and skills, the ways we respond to our anger.  It outlines our desire, how we move towards what we want, how we tolerate the fire inside us, how we work it.  The gift of this retrograde and moon is an opportunity to look back at the mechanisms through which our reactions reveal and act out those personal mythologies and roles we confine ourselves to.  It will make us retrace our steps, starting with noticing consequences, following our own trails back into the moments when fear took over, or we crossed our own boundaries, or we ignored the call of our fires.  It is likely that we will be quicker to anger and defense, that our reactions may be more extreme, however that looks for each of us.  It is likely that we will want to lean even harder on those stories in the deeps of our psyches.  It is especially important that we bring them to the surface, graciously accept what we are learning about their costs, and use compassion, courage, and commitment to expand our capacities for presence and integrity.

Feeling fully.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.

Standing in center.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.

Walking the line between the tides.  Rooted deep, hearts open, power aligned with what we serve.