the fire we are building
Full moon in Leo/lunar eclipse, January 2018
This is the second Full Moon this month. It is big, and shiny, and a little bit wild. It is out in the open with itself, but full of depth. It is about our fire, but also about our structure. It is about our hearts, but also about our actions. The evolutions that are knocking need us to open. They are adamant, and accelerated. We need to find the stride of integration and maturity, courage and commitment, vision and skillfulness. We need to let ourselves succumb to the pressure to live differently. There will be gentleness as we say yes, and insistence when we hesitate. The cost of refusal is high.
Whatever you have learned about how you know yourself since last August, you will get to see from different angles. Whatever you have sought and seen about identity, ego, and core self is being re-presented to you, to be revisited, so that you can see more layers, but more importantly, so that you can begin to act on what you are learning.
The moon is full right before Imbolc- the stirring, the quickening, the restless heartbeat of our wills and desires moving under the soil of winter and introspection. There is a powerful resonance in this timing. Imbolc is a time to move things that are ready to go, to clear our systems and seek renewal. It is a time for standing in the silence between winter and spring and committing to ourselves unfolding. To stand at this gate after a lunar eclipse in Leo, singing those songs of Self, with Saturn in Capricorn and Jupiter in Scorpio is to lean into making tangible our healing, and to lay the foundation for a legacy of thriving.
This thread of magic that is about thriving has been making itself visible for a while. Calling us to think beyond the crisis, beyond rectifying imbalance, and beyond mitigating harm. Challenging us to stand in the midst of fraught times, owning our trauma and conditioning, rooted in hope, intending to thrive, working the gifts we bring for the best possible outcome.
Whatever you know about yourself, own it. Whatever is revealing itself to you, accept it. This is a prism, shifting and moving, letting us see the same picture from different angles. This is refractions and reverberations. It is the traces of a bigger pattern of magic that is evolving, writing us even as we move with it and create it. It is not a picture of hopelessness, though it may contain pain. It is the picture of our power, the picture of our responsibility, the picture of our creation, as it is, and as it could be. It is the picture of our hearts as they beat and shine, as they hope and ache and reach for each other. It is the picture of our egos and our narratives. It is the picture of ourselves in context, the rivers and threads flowing between us, linking our stories, hurts and potentials.
We have to believe that we can build from love. We have to believe that we can transform. This is a deeply personal challenge, and one in which we never stop needing each other. We cannot believe it of anyone if we can't believe it of ourselves. Without the step of taking responsibility for shifting our own lives according to the direction of our hearts, nothing will truly click into place. No angle of looking at the self or the world will begin to make sense. Without letting ourselves see and seek each other and ourselves through connection, our love never becomes real. That transformative power gets trapped in the realms of the abstract. We cannot get out of either challenge: truly leaning into our own loving, longing hearts or into the love and need that flows between us. Both risks are necessary.
Under it all, Saturn. There are two vital pieces to believing we can build from love. One is belief in love. The other is belief in our ability to build- in the actions we take that make our love real. We have to believe it's ok to try. We have to have faith in our ability to learn and strive. We have to be willing to take effective actions, to commit, and adjust, to mess up and keep getting better. We have to believe we are worth the investment of honing ourselves- our skills, our offerings, our hearts, brains, bodies and spirits. Again, something we can't ask of others unless we ask it of ourselves.
The Aquarius/Leo axis is one of self vs collective. We all protect ourselves to varying degrees by staying too focused on one or the other. Know which you tend towards. Do you tend towards over-centering yourself and your own experience, or towards always zooming out away from the part of the picture that really has you in it? What is your special, ingenious hybrid of the two? Saturn challenges us to mature. Challenges us to relinquish what does not serve. These challenges are specific to each of us, but fit together in the web we weave. Tend the piece you neglect. Work the muscle that is weaker. With strategy and discipline, face the ways in which you hide from your self and the ways you hide from your place in the collective. So that we can build from love, each of us able to show up to the work, to build our parts and offer them out. We are stronger together, but only as strong as we are.