Choice But Not Control
Full Moon in Gemini, December, 2016
This is a time for us to be curious. To ask ourselves good questions. To take advantage of a relative lull in order to get clear inside ourselves so that we can be ready with smart, powerful actions when they are needed.
The Full Moon is in Gemini opposing Saturn and the Sun in Sagittarius. Sagittarius wants to be all on fire, taking bold actions. Gemini wants to think, question, gather information, tally data. There is a bit of emotional distance with this moon, a flexibility of thinking that may allow us to see things in ways we wouldn't otherwise be able to. There is a chance for us to take stock of our beliefs and how they inform our actions. We are dealing, collectively, with the consequences of how we manifest our unhealed wounds and unexamined fears, so this is an appropriate time for taking on this work personally.
Saturn's relationship to this moon underlines the question of consequence. There are consequences for acting without question, and there are consequences to failing to act because we get lost in thinking. We are called to explore this as well.
The usual question I hold when pulling cards for the Full Moon is "what needs to be honored?" The Gemini moon, however, wanted a different question. These cards are all in response to "what questions do we need to ask ourselves?" I'm adding to that, for the integration of the Saturn/Sun Sagittarius energy, "What do we need to do with that information?"
If you like, doing some active reflection, using writing or discussion, on whichever of these questions seem relevant or potent to you, would be a great way to honor what this moon has to offer. It is important with all these questions that we answer honestly, in the present tense. We will not get useful answers if we are not clear about where we actually are, right now. We cannot effectively invoke a healthier alternate without this understanding.
Nine of Bones, Rx
We got all kinds of things to say about getting shit done. We got all kinds of beliefs, practices, and language about it. Things we honor and acknowledge, things we don't. We are surrounded by the pressures of capitalism. We are surrounded by the role-plays of sexism and racism. These things inform how we put forth our energy, how we judge our efforts, what we give ourselves credit for and what we don't. Those things in turn shape what we offer.
This is the time to self-examine on how you do you and how you do your offerings. How do you manifest your beliefs? What are the beliefs you manifest? Work with the assumption that you have a big hand in shaping what turns up in your life and how. Circumstances out of our control are real, but so is the power of choice, intention, belief. What do you believe about what you deserve? What do you believe about what others deserve? How do those things relate?
What do you reward yourself for and how close is that to the conditioning you received? To the conditioning that dominant culture tries to impose? What is your relationship with patience? With expectation of yourself and others? With Self-acceptance?
We need to understand the mechanics of how we become ourselves. We need to understand how we participate in creating our realities. We need to understand the how and why of how we do or don't bring our gifts into the world, of how we do or don't radiate our authentic magic into everything we do.
What piece of your beliefs needs to be healed in order for you to be able to create the beauty you want to see in the world?
This is a time of great uncertainty. Uncertain how much of what we know will stick around, uncertain whether or not we are headed into a time of deepest, hardest toil, and/or deepest, most astonishing healing. We don't know. Because we haven't done it yet, because the cards have not all been dealt, because we have choice but not control. We have desire but not control. We have hope and fear and it's not even always clear how those things inform our actions. Not clear how best to engage with both those beautiful tools.
Who knows how much we can surrender to this process? Who knows how our courage will show up? Who knows what opportunities for healing disguised as disasters will present themselves? Who knows what other people are going to do? How the resistance and fear of those who are clinging to the old, wounded pattern will be acted out?
We don't know shit. We get no guarantees.
So we need to understand ourselves and our relationship to the unknown. If we don't want to be be guilty of trying to control what can't be controlled, or of missing out on perfect opportunities because we can't deal with the uncertainty, we need to take stock, come to clear understanding, and take this opportunity to find the best ways for ourselves to deal with working without all the information.
Get specific, be real, don't judge. You want this information. Don't chase it back in.
How do you deal with the unknown? With not having answers? What is your response to the uncertainty of others? Your own? In circumstances?
How can you stay engaged? How can you stay graceful? How can you become more responsible and less controlling? How can we do these things together?
Ace of Bottles
We need to tend to the love. The real deal, faces-the-hard-shit, can-speak-and-live-truths love. We need to take responsibility for how much of it goes around, how we do or don't infuse it in to everything we do. Into how we take care of ourselves. Into our closest relationships. Into how we deal with our anger, rage, grief, fear and hurt. Into how we deal with that of others. Not to smooth over what we are afraid of facing, but to strengthen ourselves to be able to face everything that healing requires.
We need to know what we believe about love. We need to know how well we love ourselves. We need to know whether or not (and how) our love gets blocked, diverted or compromised according to patterns of oppression and wounding.
How do you tend your capacity for love? How do you clog your channel? Are there behaviors you are attached to that compromise your heart?
How do you tend your loving offering? How do you receive?
What types of love do you need to provide yourself so that you can heal? What parts of yourself need it most if that healing is to be deep and lasting? What of your wounds do you act out because of a lack of self-love? Collectively, how do we act out our wounds because of a lack of love?
We need to challenge ourselves to give love to all our parts, including and especially the parts we think least deserve it. We need to believe in our own potential for healing and loving courage if we are to know how to speak to it in others. We need to surrender to the power of love to transform instead of using the conventions of love to create the appearance of safety.
How do you love? How can you love yourself and become more loving?