Love is For The Brave

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Full Moon in Aries, October, 2016

These are some tense and beautiful times.  Some traumatic and healing times.  We can no longer hide from complexity, from nuance, from consciousness, yet we need to let some things be simple.  Like commitment and integrity.  Like being present.  Like owning healing.  Difficult to do, maybe, but simpler than the alternatives, and demanding a clarity that is simpler than the layers of shenanigans that have to happen if we want to stay asleep, checked out, or isolated.

This Full Moon will highlight the tension between what we each need for ourselves, and what we need for and from each other.  This tension is not as inherent as it seems.  Most of what we feel when we run into difficulty finding ways to make ourselves happy and others happy at the same time is the busted inheritance of colonialism and oppression.  It's the pain and confusion of knowing that some of us are expected to look out for ourselves before all others and some of us are expected to neglect ourselves.  When we try to negotiate how we can be strong in our individuality while in strong and connective relationships, most of us feel the weight of generations worth of imbalance and trauma.  Those of us conditioned to give too much, to disappear into the needs of the other, have to try to reconcile our desire for love and connection with a (sometimes deeply buried) sense of self-betrayal.  

We cannot go it alone and be healthy.  Not forever, anyway.  Nor can we submerge ourselves and expect to get what we need or even to truly avoid what we need, because relationships are a mirror; they will always hand you yourself at some point.

The Aries full moon is reminding us of us.  Reminding us of our passionate, real, fierce need to be ourselves.  It is calling us to be bold, to be unapologetic in knowing ourselves, what we need, and what we want.  The Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter in Libra are reminding us the power and possibility that exists in where and how we overlap.  They are reminding us to tend the connective tissue of our relationships, that we can expand only so far without support, given or received.

We need to take care of each other.  We need to take care of ourselves.  Love can hold complexity.  Love can remind us that there is a giant, wonderful range of options between selfishness and martyrdom.  Love can let what is simple be simple, because it thrives on truth.

 

Strength, Rx

Love is for the brave.  Life is for the brave.  The strength that it takes to do this--to love, to be afraid, to heal, to be vulnerable, to connect, to be ourselves--is not negligible.  It is a very different strength than what it takes to be a fortress or a tempest or a bully.  Aries is about courage.  It's about how we engage our vitality in full and bold ways.  If we sit in the tension between the real need we have to be separate and the real need we have to be connected, we are challenged to bring our vitality, our declarative force, to the task of love, to the task of gentleness, to the work of holding each other sacred.  

We can become acclimated to anything.  Let us choose to become used to sitting in complexity, to leaning in when we are scared, to cultivating safe space for vulnerability in our relationships, to finding ways to be honestly, authentically ourselves.  Let us become accustomed to engaging our strength in ways that build relationships that can hold conflicting needs, relationships that grow strong, loving individuals. 

Few of us have been really supported in developing what this takes.  Few of us have had our genuine, unique, tender strengths honored and encouraged.  So we have to be brave.  It may look little like what we were perhaps taught to imagine.  We have to take on this work as adults, after years of possibly building habits that support hiding, that disempower us in the face of our fears. Courage is in the choices we make, not in how we feel. Strength likewise. We can choose to be warriors for love. We can choose to love each other for our incomparable, wise fires. We can choose to honor what connects us with a deep reverence.  We can choose to honor how many truths we can each hold at once.

 

Apprentice of Bones, Rx

At the New Moon we were reminded of the power of reflection, of what we can learn when we are seen by others. The Full Moon takes us a step further, inviting us to learn about ourselves through the specific and difficult struggle that is relationship, because we are not made to surrender to them our individuality, because they are hard.  Nothing will teach you so much as trying to be truly yourself while trying to nourish the space between you and those you love.

Authenticity means different things depending on how you are thinking of time. There is a precious but sometimes dangerous authenticity in immediacy, in the impulses that we have that are centered entirely in the present or in a push against the past. There is a precious and differently dangerous authenticity that is thinking ahead, tending the long-term, strategizing how to have the most of what we want for the longest. The first can be careless of consequences. The second can lead us into abandoning the present.

Aries tends toward impulsivity.  This is a beautiful gift, closely entwined with intuition, that can sometimes go astray.  It is authentic in the immediate sense.  This moon invites us to channel the impulsiveness, to use the energy of it for deeper self-knowledge, to ask ourselves brave questions about our impulses and desires, to think about how to work with authenticity in its many timelines.  To lean into our (seemingly or genuinely) conflicting needs and wants.  In the tension we can see ourselves, in the contradictions is our magic.

 

Mentor of Bottles, Rx

Love in everything.  Love is everything.

If we are not to self-destruct, on whatever scale, this is what we need to hold.  It needs to be the deep current beneath all our actions.  We are fiery.  We are powerful.  We get hurt and scared and inspired.  There are painful things that need to be said.  Love in everything.  That is the way, the rudder that can steer such a wild stew.  It's what gives us grace as we deal with what could render us graceless.

There are ways in which we are simple.  We all want to be seen.  We all want to be loved.  We all want dignity.  These are foundational things for human hearts, and if we can remember these things about our selves and each other we can be fiercely gentle, we can listen to the unique inspirations of each moment and take risks that are blessed.  We can be fiercely soft.  We can fight compassionately.  We can be humbly powerful.  We can stay present, centered and empowered even when confronting that which causes us pain and confusion.  

If we can do this for ourselves, we can do this for each other.  If we can do it for each other, we can do it for ourselves.  We're all conditioned differently.  Some of us are trained to offer others what we can't ourselves.  Some of us have patience only for our own complex foibles and wonder.  But if one is possible, so is the other.  In one person.  In each person.  In the space between us all.

Love in everything.

 

Two reminders:

1)  The Healing Wheel Workbook is ready and available.  It is a Samhain to Samhain workbook that includes a tarot spread, magical exercises and rituals, astrological information, and writing prompts. 

2)  Full Moon is a powerful time to do water magic, and this time in particular, with the work being done at Standing Rock and by other Indigenous folks around the world, it is especially helpful for as many people as possible to be working the intention of humans being in right relationship with the water and calling in healing for all the waters.  Please take some time to add your energy in whatever way works for you.  If you want a small ritual to do, you can find it here.