Full Moon, August 2015
My awareness is flooded. Old memories, sweet and sore; friends going through things that are wholly their own and totally rattle my cage; sliding along the scope of awareness of the impacts of racism; contextualizing myself in my whiteness; honoring my sensitivity; feeling the weather change; eyeing the pile of projects--garden, chicken coop still unfinished, quick before the rains come; huge transitions in the life of my partner and I; the hopes and dreams I am bringing into manifestation at whatever pace I can.
It swims around in there and sometimes I am galvanized, sometimes along for the ride, sometimes just want to sit and be and tell it all to wait. Sometimes want to numb it, distract it, slink away. Pre-gaming a full moon in Pisces. Every full moon we get the gift of intersections being highlighted. Every full moon occurs in the sign opposite the one the Sun is occupying at that time, giving us a punctuated moment of bridging between different frameworks. Virgo wants to do. Pisces wants to feel. Virgo understands how we can be individually useful. Pisces understands that I am you and you are me and we are all human and our humanness is just an outfit we are wearing right now that we'll take off at some point and we'll still be one.
With Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury all in Virgo, the question of what we do and how we fit our skills into service to the whole is shaping how we think about ourselves, is expanding our potential and is needing to be talked about. With the Moon in Pisces, all that doing could be anchored to the big knowing, anchored to the dreams. All that dreaming can be anchored in practicality and context. Co-anchoring, co-serving. Or we could get overwhelmed. The difficulty Pisces has is too much consciousness. Too much awareness, and feeling it all, to boot. The currents can give you direction or they can take you out to sea and tumble you about. A lost little fish will want to escape, numb the overwhelm, ride the waves of abstraction into more comfortable oblivion. Right now this could happen through Virgo means. You could lose yourself in "work." You could rely solely on the doing of tangible tasks as an outlet for the pressure of all that you can feel. You could try to scratch the service itch by losing yourself in the needs of others. Or you could reject all actions and go into a fit of Piscean rebellion and decide to get trashed or watch a million episodes of something or other. Or you could do something beautifully magical that is both practical and dreamy, tailored just to you in this moment.
This moon makes me wonder: What is our duty around our capacity for awareness? What is responsible with regards to our senses? How can we use sensitivity and action to span the continuum from individuality to connection to everything? As we continue to be awash in the upswell of old stuff courtesy of Venus, how can we combine the wisdom of Virgo with the tenderness of the Pisces full moon? In a culture that has devalued empathic knowing, how can we honor it while still honoring the facts of context, the facts of oppression, the facts of how much work we have to do? How can we build skills around our emotions and our psychic connectivity? How can we do everything while still learning to let in the wisdom of surrender?
This Moon we have three questions, each satisfying both Virgo and Pisces in different ways: What needs to be held? What needs to be seen? What needs to be honored?
What needs to be held?
5 of Bones
Like I said, there's been a lot on my mind. But the thing that is threading through all of it is oppression. Even in the garden, where I think about the healing the plants offer and the oppressive ways humans deal with them. But racism is the headliner. My community is still trying to figure itself out after the shooting in May. We're all looking at the system, at each other, at microagressions, at our ability and willingness to distance ourselves. I look at my own responses, which are mixed at best, and am trying to figure out what my "in" is. As a white person I have made use of the cushioning of being protected from constant awareness of race. I have inherited poor skills and a lack of stamina. I have been granted a whole set of experiences and traumas that I have been free to think of as separate from race and they also play in to how I respond when I feel scared and vulnerable. My cage is rattled and I'm trying to figure out how to stay present.
As far as I can tell, the "in" for how we can move through personal resistance of any kind is always in understanding the fears. Fear is the key, full of valuable information and potent life force. Pisces wants compassion. Virgo wants accountability. On the range of things confronting us, from old-memories-thank-you-venus to oppression and environmental crisis, we need both. Very badly. Both have a transformative power all their own, but the power of the two combined?...more than the sum of the parts, let's just say.
If we are to have compassionate reckoning, we need to understand the fears. We need to hold and honor them. We all have a deep fear of scarcity, of one kind or another. At a certain level, this comes with the animal body. It's part of the package of mortality. But at another level, it's part of the lie, which has destroyed balance in the apportioning of resources. Of all kinds. Having little to no experience with being part of a balanced eco-system, I can only speculate, but I think that a sense of balance goes a long way towards alleviating the animal body's fear of loss. That is potential courage-supporting relief that most humans are not getting.
What needs to be held is some loving awareness (Pisces) of just how much and what we all fear. As an IN, you remember, not an out.
What needs to be seen?
Apprentice of Bones, Rx
When we have lovingly held basic truths about what we're working with, it is easier to see.
So much of how we are conditioned, even with all the differences in how that plays out, serves to obscure our capacity to learn and grow. It's a skill set that only the most privileged of us ever really actively get encouraged in, and that's usually focused on intellectual learning alone.
Meanwhile, we learn all the time--survival skills, emotional intelligence, how to navigate whatever context we find ourselves in, how to get what we want. Without naming that learning is what's happening, though, most of us feel like we are supposed to be in a different mode. One that either has the answers or feels totally powerless.
We can use the wisdom offered by both Pisces and Virgo to gain insight into the process of learning and how to best support it for ourselves right now. How can we make the best use of information? What's the best way to sort through lots of information of different varieties from different sources? How can we be lead by our intuitions as much as our brains? How can we be vigorous, demanding, and compassionate with ourselves as we pursue skill building? How can we stay connected to what inspires us as we try to make our learning useful? How can we use our emotional intelligence to challenge ourselves intellectually and our intellects to support our emotional growth? How can we create emotional safety for ourselves while we humbly challenge what we think we know?
What needs to be honored?
Strength is not stoicism. It's not being unbreakable, even. It's not strong-arming the circumstances until they change to our satisfaction. I know you know, with your heads, at least. But oh, are we still ever surrounded by the stories. And oh, is it ever easier to think those things might be preferable when we know they can help us survive. It can be unbearable to believe that we are in our strength when we are most vulnerable.
There are many aspects of strength that are just as undervalued culturally, and just as scary to adopt when we feel afraid or threatened. The strength of humility. The strength of staying present, even if that's all you can do, even if it takes everything. The strength of choosing to engage with our hearts. The strength of everything that has ever been minimized by being deemed "feminine."
Whatever types of strength you are accessing and/or validating in your day to day life, make a magical act of honoring vulnerability, humility, love, presence, receptivity and all the others that are devalued and even maligned. Light a candle, build an altar, draw or dance or sing. You don't have to have healed all your issues around strength. Just use your faith, imagination and intention to invite that healing into your future.
Love to you!
P.S. For this very same moon last year, I pulled the same card. What came through then is still relevant this year. Still beautifully relevant as all the pressure increases for society to deal with its old stories, its projections and oppression. Relevant for the work of Venus retrograde. Relevant to the personal and the transpersonal.